Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Death by Neoprene

Gurrl, I almost died last week while trying on my new triathlon wetsuit in my own home.
I was very excited that the wetsuit I ordered came in the mail. I put it on immediately after I opened the mail package. The wetsuit fit perfectly so I pranced around my bedroom pretending to swim, taking some webcam photos. Then I started getting hot. I wanted out of the wetsuit. I fumbled around trying to take the suit off but I couldn't get the damn suit out of my shoulders. I started to sweat.
I couldn't breathe. I hyperventilated and had a panic attack. For a brief moment, I considered calling for help. I started evaluating the three people who had keys to my place, trying to pick the one who would not burst out laughing in my face while I'd sweat to death. I even considered calling '911'. I couldn't tell anyone that I was stuck in a wetsuit so I turned to the one that never failed me: myself!
I tried harder to pull the neoprene off of my shoulder blades, which were covered in sweats. After I struggled for a few minutes, the wetsuit came off my shoulders, and the rest of my body was freed.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

You see what interest in triathlons gets you? An early grave.

12:07 AM  

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