Dog Days of August

Oh, how I love the month of August! It's always so slow on real news that editors and staff in newsrooms would clench on anything to fill out the space in order to sell back-to-school supplies. Let's review the news, shall we!

JonBenet Ramsey, who's been dead for longer than she was alive, is once again a tabloid queen.
Tom Cruise, who hasn't pumped any couches lately, is the most talked about Hollywood star this week.
Kansas housewives are feared to be on verge of a sex craze due to the "morining-after" contraceptive pill Plan B now available without a prescription.
Science teachers scrambling to alter planetary lessons to eliminate Pluto.
Republicans think Hillary Clinton is a bitch.