John Kerry vs. Anh Dang

John Kerry
Fought in the Vietnam War
Married a ketchup heir
Claims to complete the Boston Marathon, but doesn't remember the year, or finish time

Anh Dang
Born in Vietnam at the end of the Vietnam War
Can't get married; can't eat ketchup
Runs marathons but too slow for the Boston Marathon

Winner - me .... I may be slow but my marathon records exist